Most self-help books will tell you that it takes 21 days to change a habit. This factoid is based on a 1960s study of amputees by plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz, who reasoned that because it took only 21 days for amputees to adjust to the loss of a limb, other life-changes should only take as long… This looks like a very shaky assumption to me!
Change is only possible to the extent that we have support for that change.
This is probably not a popular message for those of us who pride ourselves on being mature, independent, self-directed, achievers, who have earned our autonomy. I’m saying that we can’t succeed in making a change to ourselves, or a club we belong to, or a team or organisation we lead, unless the amount of support is proportional to the amount of change we wish to make. Not enough support – we fail.
“This was ‘lightbulb learning’ for me!” said a new client I did some constellations work for recently. Constellations is an approach that is becoming increasingly popular with coaches. As a methodology, it works with the view that when we feel stuck in some part of our work or life, something is out of balance in the system (such as the team or organisation) we are a part of. If we can spot the hidden dynamics, and really acknowledge where the drag factors are historically or currently, change can happen organically.
I’ve come to the conclusion that leadership courses taught in the business world are largely ineffective. They might help people understand leadership as a concept; they might help people to take more effective action as a leader but they do not routinely help people be leaders.
‘A dot means everything,’ said the Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai. A dot is not only the origin of the work of art, it also distils the essence of the subject and captures the quality of relationship of the artist to his or her work of art. A dot thus becomes an exquisitely expressive punctuation point in the creative process.