As her colleagues guarded turf in a complex discussion over resource allocation, the Chief Executive quietly left the stuffy room. Actually, ‘stuffy’ is an understatement – I was facilitating in a ‘greenhouse’ – a windowless, south-facing, glass-and-chrome building in which the air conditioning had failed on the hottest afternoon of the Summer. Patience was wearing thin and tempers were as high as the temperature. This meeting was pivotal – funding to secure the future of shared services in this region was being brokered between the CEOs of the different Public Sector agencies present.
I’ve increasingly been making films and using the process of film-making as an integral part of my coaching and OD practice. For those who are interested, one example of an early experiment is here… It’s been a fascinating development and contrary to my expectations, including a camera in a coaching conversation has brought an element of what is trendy to call ‘mindfulness’ to the conversation, for both myself and those clients who are up for it.
I have come to see that those moments that most challenge my sense of ‘self’ often hold the most potential for change and growth. Such moments take me out of my comfort zone, and so face me with a contradiction – of my excitement at discovering a new edge of my personal development and opening to vulnerable-making new experiences; alongside a countervailing impulse to protect my identity at all costs and retreat to familiar behaviours and patterns of engaging with the world…
Most of us feel deficient in making, managing and growing money, and yet we do not understand how to change our relationship with it.
I’d been jostled out of boarding the tube once that morning and I wasn’t going to let it happen again… so when the doors swung apart and the crush of morning bodies surged forwards for the second time, I elbowed my way impatiently in front of the dad with his small son and left them stranded on the platform, looking exasperated. My aggression dissipated into guilt.
I have begun work with some new clients and predictably, one of the first things they encounter on the journey of personal and leadership transformation is their Inner Critic. Learning how to transform our relationship with our Inner Critic is essential to the success of any of our personal development efforts.
Last week, in a quiet café, I witnessed two intelligent people shouting at each other over a latte. Neither seemed once to listen to the other, in their twenty-minute heated exchange. I speculated that if I had interrupted them and asked each what the other had just said, they would have been unable to say… I was reminded of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, when the bard cautions us not to let life become a tale ‘full of sound and fury, signifying nothing’.
When she told me that, “Our coaches are hired to help us maximise the efficiency of our workforce,” I lost all interest in the prospective new client and walked away from the pitch.
When we are learning to constellate, at first we pay great attention to developing skills and technique. While these are important, we also soon learn that they are completely insufficient – our clients are not helped as fully as they could be by the mechanics of methodology alone...